Thrown Off Course

There are many moments that come to pass in one’s life. Moments that create different avenues to travel, depending on the action implemented. The determination of which action is needed can be allusive and difficult to conceptualize at times.

And let’s not forget the feelings that erupt unexpectedly that throw us off course, causing us to believe one thing, when truly it is another that is true.

I found myself in one of those feeling moments last night, and I settled into an overly-sensitive mood. I didn’t want to hang out with my boys and listen to their happy chatter. I wanted to ruminate, relive my difficulty, as if I could solve my problem with my problem.

What to do in such moments?

I called a friend and stated my problem out loud. There were two benefits to that: one, I heard myself say my problem, which helped me to see how ludicrous I sounded; two, her thoughts and suggestions infiltrated my crazed mind, which was beneficial.

Calling my friend was helpful but not enough to fully relieve me of my overwhelming feelings. So, I then considered the time of day.

Night had settled and with it the end of the day for my body and mind. I was tired. Knowing whether I’m tired or not is an important fact for me to consider when trying to reconcile my feelings.

Instantly, I knew I needed to stop thinking.

Knowing that I was tired and needed to stop thinking gave me an immediate, although not all encompassing, solution. I needed to retire for the night, read my book to disengage my brain from its obsessive spinning, and sleep.

I knew my mind and body would recharge for the next day, and I would be better able to formulate thought, even my feelings would normalize. My answer to what I needed to do about my problem would surface, or, if anything, an avenue to a solution that would work would come to be known.

By morning, my problem had dispersed, having chased my dreams into the shadows, and I felt better, more myself, less overly sensitive.

Of course, that’s not always how it pans out. Sometimes I wake to find my problem still attached to my hip, but, instead of floundering in the muck trying to figure it out, there is a sense of knowing what to do.

I know if I had “acted” on my supposed problem last night, I would have created more problems for today. There is something to be said for pausing, assessing facts, reaching out to another so as not to be alone, and recognizing what needs to be done in the immediate without drastically changing my life.

Now, if drastic change is necessary, it will still be needed in a day or two after careful inspection of facts and options.

There are a plethora of possibilities that have the potential of manifesting with each moment I experience. I can gather all these possibilities and assess which one is the best for changing me, not others.

When I get stuck in the thinking that changing another is the only way my problem will go away, I’ve boxed myself into a never ending cycle of suffering. I am not a victim to other people’s actions and thoughts. I very much so have a choice on how I want to feel about my life and how I want to show up in my life.








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